Welcome back to everybody’s favorite live blog! Quick primer in case you’re new — I’m playing a wizard named Pranteri, I’ve been playing for a little over 3 hours, I’m playing on monster power 0 because I’m a pansy, and I’m level 12.
Without further adieu, here’s chapter three:
8:57pm — I cannot express how much I hate these god damn poison trees. I’m surprised one hasn’t killed me yet, knock on wood (eh? eh?).
8:59pm — The goatmen hit like trucks when they’re buffed from their war drum thing. Gotta take those out first.
9:01pm — Kormac the badass Templar bites the dust. At least he didn’t have to listen to Maghda’s grating voice blab on about whatever it is shes saying. I tune out when she talks.
9:09pm — Opened the game public and got a bite! A level 18 wizard, Demartini. Glass cannons ahoy!
9:13pm — So… many… missiles…
9:15pm — Killed the warden after freeing the skeleton prisoners. I don’t understand why he screams “AM I ALONE HERE?!” when he clearly isn’t.
9:19pm — Level 14 now. We’re chugging through on our way to the Butcher, the horrifying first boss from the original Diablo.
9:23pm — Got him! Frost Nova made it pretty easy, actually.
9:24pm — And in the least surprising twist imaginable, mystery-stranger-who-is-totally-not-Tyrael turns out to be… Tyrael!
9:26pm — It’s a shame that it’s only Nameless Caravan Leader bringing us to Act II and not Warriv. His voice was so soothing. RIP 😦
9:28pm — Looks like Asheara is doing much better for herself, as she’s no longer wearing her bondage outfit from D2.
9:30pm — Scratch what I said about the poison trees. The bugs that shoot the four, smaller poison bugs can go straight to hell.
9:33pm — Full party now! A demon hunter, Whuyzee, and another wizard, Digitaldemon.
9:36pm — Nice, back to back event quests I hadn’t done before.
9:45pm — Level 16. Speaking of glass cannons, just got the passive for it.
9:52pm — Captain Davyd? What kind of parents would spell that name like that? Poor dude.
9:55pm — WHOA WHOA WHOA. The named mob right before Alcarnus took me from full life to 25% in one shot. Note to self – don’t try to tank hits from monsters 5x your size.
9:59pm — The annoying-as-all-hell Maghda is a goner. Woo!
10:07pm — We save Adria, Leah’s mom. The named mob guarding her was way too easy for someone with the flavor text “Reaper of Pain”.
10:10pm — AH! My game minimized itself, but thankfully I was in town. Whew!
10:17pm — Up to level 18, plus I got new runes for three of the five skills I’m using. Sweet.
10:21pm — Why is it that when you click to enter the Ancient Waterway, it says “this door is locked by a complex mechanism that cannot be opened at this time” when an Kulle opens it like 2 seconds later?
10:23pm — Found my first unique! Magefist gloves. I’ll go for a fire build, why not.
We found Covetous Shen, who gives me the creeps, and got to the next waypoint. I’m gonna call it here for now. Pranteri lives on! Thanks for reading, and be on the lookout for chapter four!